Doctor Shopping...Again

CAUTION: LONG POST AHEAD

Where to begin.

Monday at 2:30 we had our follow up appointment and we were supposed to talk about moving forward with IVF. I picked Josh up from work at 1:00 which meant he had to take 2 hours off work unpaid (booo). We drove through a torrential downpour to Kansas City and arrived around 2:15. We even had a few extra minutes to grab a coffee to take along.

We checked in and all was well. They called our name at about 2:40 and took us to a small exam room. I was instantly curious about this because we were supposed to be having a consultation...not an exam. About 10 minutes go by and I really need to use the restroom. Shouldn't have had that coffee :) It's now 3:30ish and finally Josh went to the front and asks if they forgot about us. They said they would check on the doctor to see what the hold up was. Not once during that time of us waiting did they ever come check on us or give us an update on when the doctor would be with us.

5 minutes later the doctor comes in and flings the door open (I'm not exaggerating) and says "are you ready?!?". We waited an HOUR past our appointment time! The clinic closes at 4:00 pm so I knew he would rush through everything. He pulled out our medical records and pretty much told us everything he told us last time we were there. He chuckled a little (again, not exaggerating) and said that Josh's sperm was just "terrible" and I don't ovulate so IVF w/ICSI is our only option.We know. This is not new news.  I don't think he was laughing at us or our situation, maybe that's just his personality. It just seemed like he had never dealt with patients with both male and female IF. Josh said to him "not exactly instilling very much confidence, Doc" ::insert awkward laugh from all of us::

The only thing we learned was that our RE is concerned that our embryo quality may be poor. He suggested sperm donation as a back up option. We have already discussed that option, and have decided we do not want to do sperm or egg donation. If we cannot have a 100% biological child then we'd rather look into adoption.

We appreciate him bringing up the embryo quality issue because that is very important to us. That was the only thing we learned at our appointment. I can't understand why they wouldn't just do a phone consultation with me. I would have gladly sent them my $35 co-pay. I asked if he could give us a better estimated cost of medication for IVF and he said between $2,500-$3,500. Which is what I was figuring anyway ::shrugs::

We're so disappointed about how we were treated and their lack of customer service. Not once did they apologize for our wait and all together we just weren't treated very well. Josh said "I felt like a number", which is a perfect analogy. When you're going through something so emotionally, physically, and financially draining you need to know that your doctor and his staff are on your side! If it's not too much to ask, maybe our RE could be just a tad emotionally invested in our treatment and success. Maybe ::gasp:: care for us and be sensitive to what we're going through.

We left feeling so defeated and frustrated. We walked out of the clinic and Josh said "let's go to Europe".  Many people go out of the country for IVF treatments because it's so much cheap even with travel expenses and time off work. We went to my sister's house afterwards to pick up a few things and she hugged me tight and I really wanted to hang on to her and cry. I know she would have let me but my sweet little niece was there and I didn't want to cry an ugly cry in front of her. But it felt good to get a squeeze from her when I was hurting so bad.

So, we have decided to look for a new RE. We're not positive that we'll be leaving our current RE right now but we'd at least like a second opinion. It's also good to know that there are other options available to us. This is difficult but hopefully it will be worth it. I spent so much time and work filling our paperwork for KU Med now I have to do it all over again ::sighhh:: :(  But Josh and I both agreed that we need to be 110% confident in our doctor and know that he is doing everything in his power to help us get pregnant. We in NO way want or expect things to be sugar coated or have someone tip toe around our feelings. Be honest, but for goodness sake have some bedside manner. We are people, we have hearts and emotions. This stuff is hard to deal with-please sympathize with us a little.  I don't want to leave after our embryo transfer and think "well I hope he did it right" and shell out $15,000. Although shopping for a new RE is really hard, we both feel like it's the right thing to do.

I have an HSG scheduled in a couple of weeks. This isn't necessary since medically our only option to get pregnant is IVF. But I don't want to wonder if my tubes are blocked. We're always hoping and praying for a miracle kid and it would be good to know that there is no blockage.

Sorry this was such a long post, just wanted to fill you in on the juicy details ;) If you could spare a few thoughts and prayers we'd really appreciate it. Here are just a couple of things that we need prayer for right now.

-Finding a new doctor (RE) and that we have a really good connection
-My HSG goes well and it isn't as painful as I'm anticipating (I know...I'm a baby)
-Peace and wisdom to make the right decisions
-Funds, we're only 5k short of having everything we need for our treatment! Woohoo :D
-As always, a miracle pregnancy

Thanks for reading and caring about us. We're so thankful for our family and friends, we wouldn't be able to do this without you. Much love to you all ((hugs)).