Cart Before Horse Queen

That's me.

I blame it on the fact that I've always known I would be a mama. I never believed in "jinxing" myself. Over the past 5 years or so, I've gradually picked up things here and there. Little did I know that I'd have a huge blue tub full of baby items.

And no baby.

Yet.

So I thought I'd share my little secret stash with you. This post will have lots of photos. After all, they're worth a thousand words right? Going through my blue tub brings lots of emotions. Sad, happy, fear, hope, questions and some how there is a little bit of peace.

It's also good motivation. I refuse to let those items go untouched by a baby. Our baby.

Let's start with an item that is very dear to our hearts. If you know us in real life, you know that we *love* Mid-Century Modern design/furniture.

We've found some amazing things on craigslist and auctions-we're always on the look out for a great deal. Which is how Josh found this.

 

Josh found this probably about a year ago. I've known for a long time that I wanted a small rocking chair (I'm kind of a small person).

I didn't want a glider and I didn't want anything traditional. When Josh called me to tell me he found a cool rocking chair for me I was very hesitant in buying it. We had been diagnosed with PCOS and I didn't like the thought of a rocking chair just sitting in my house...not being rocked. But I went to look at it and fell in love. Plus it was only like $55, can't really beat that! We want to reupholster it but we're waiting to see what we paint the nursery. 

I love it. It...well it rocks. Plus Josh found it which makes it so much more precious to me.

  

Books. We love them. I've picked up a couple of them but there is one that is extra special.

We bought this April 2009 (wow...can't believe it's been that long). We went to the San Diego where I shot a wedding and then drove up the coast to San Francisco. We had such a great time, can't wait to go back. We especially enjoyed San Fran, we just really like big cities that have either mountains or the coast. The first morning that we were in San Fran, we woke up early (it was a Monday) and grabbed a coffee. Then we walked down to the Oakland Bay Bridge and watched the commuters come in for work. It was so much fun! They were all in a rush to get to work and Josh and I just sat there and watched-it was like a zoo.

There was a bookshop at the bridge so we browsed through. We were going to buy a book or two for ourselves, but instead we found a sweet little retro childrens book about San Francisco. I love this book so much, I can't wait for our kids to look through it and point to all of the colorful photos.

 

Toys. Actually, just toy. 

 

I bought this at an antique shop in OK right before we started trying for a baby. I believe it was summer 2010. How could you resist this adorable playful toy!!?? It has German writing on the bottom and from research it was made round the 60s-70s. Josh and I decided though that since it's so old, it will be going on a shelf. I'd love to focus the design and era around this toy though :)

Here are just some more random finds...

Yellowstone/Jackson Hole, WY trip-Aug 2010

My dad is a firefighter. I bought this Nov 2009 because it's how I wanted to tell him we were pregnant. I've wanted to be pregnant for so long now.

I bought these the day Josh gave me the "ok" to start trying. It was probably Aug 2010. I told myself I was going to buy a box every time I went to the store. Luckily I changed my mind, otherwise I I'd have a room full  of diapers! These are the only ones I have. We'll start buying more once we see 2 pink lines.

I bought this cool baby carrier Fall 2011. I got a good deal on it so I couldn't resist. Oh speaking of good deals, I forgot to take a pic of our pack n play. I got a ton of use out it when my niece was little so I am glad I bought that when I did (embarrassingly Summer 2007).

Who could resist this KU Jayhawk bib/burp cloth set?!?! I couldn't lol. I bought this Sept 2010 and had intended keeping it to myself and giving it to Josh when I found out I was pregnant. That didn't last long though, I was too excited about my find and showed him a couple of days after I bought it.

 

 

Today, I found a beautiful black and white swaddle blanket and green receiving blanket.

 

I'm over the moon with the black and white swaddle blanket, it's so thin and perfect for a burrito baby.

 

And here is pretty much everything.

It's a reminder to me that no matter what, we're going to be parents. I'm going to be a mama and Josh is going to be a daddy. We'll get there-one day at a time.

Next Monday, May 28th I'll take my first Provera pill to induce my period. From the day of my first pill it will take about 14 days. On cycle day 2 or 3  I'll go for my baseline ultrasound to see how everything looks.  If everything looks good then I'll start birth control pills. I'll be on BCP for about 3 weeks, then start injects.

I'm ready and going through my big blue box makes me excited. We are only doing IVF once, that means this is pretty much our only shot for a biological child/children. Please, oh please God have your hand in it all.