Thing 1 Thing 2

Tuesday was our embryo transfer and everything went very smooth. By that morning we were told we had 1 super star embryo, 2 good ones and 1 that was fair. Josh and I had a very very hard time deciding if we should put one or two embryos in. It's something that we've talked about for a while now but we just weren't really lead one way or another. Josh and I were literally in the room for the transfer...minutes away from the transfer and still hadn't made a decision. I was very impressed with Dr. G's patience, he didn't rush us at all. He answered some questions we had and then our ultimate decision was based on fresh is best. Frozen embryos may be healthy prior to the freeze but there is no 100% grantee on the quality when they are thawed. And because we are dealing with male factor infertility, we are very limited on our embryos.

So we chose to put in two beautiful embryos. For those of you who are curious of their "grade" and are apart of the IVF world, one embryo was 5AA and our other was 4BB. 5AA was already hatching and 4BB was a mature blast. We are affectionately calling them "Thing 1 Thing 2".

We are all doing very well and just taking it easy. Yesterday I received a gorgeous bouquet of summer flowers from my sister, her hubby and daughter. It totally melted my heart. They're sitting on my coffee table so I can look at them all day long :) Josh's mom came over and cooked us dinner and brought me more flowers! It was nice not having to worry about dinner. My friend Nish sent me a gift card to buy a movie and a really interesting magazine and today a couple of friends (Amanda and Kim) had an Edible Bouquet of fruit delieved! I was SOOO happy to see that most of the fruit was covered in coconut...drool. Tomorrow night Josh's grandparents are making us dinner...my favorite BBQ meatballs. Josh and I have felt so loved and cared for. Thank you all for the texts, well wishes, prayers, cards, dinners (still eating on The Giltner's enchiladas!) and just love. We are so thankful for our family and friends!!!!

This morning our embryologist called and told me that two embryos made it to freeze. She is so optimistic and kept telling me how great that was. I smiled and agreed with  her but when I hung up I felt really sad. I'd like to clarify that I am over the moon happy that we have two extra embryos! I keep thanking God that I have two in me (and praying they stick around til Spring) and two waiting for us. But everyday since our retrieval we've had embryos not make it. I have felt emotional pregnant since last Friday when I heard that 10 were successfully fertilized. I know these little embyos are just clusters of cells and aren't actually babies yet. But those clusters of cells are a mixture of me and Josh. They could have been our children. But I remind myself that they just weren't strong enough, they weren't healthy enough.

So please believe with us that Thing 1 Thing 2 are strong healthy babies and that our other two on ice are the same. I have to continually control my thoughts and fears, this is such a roller coaster. We are not doing IVF again, this is it. These little guys need to hold on tight, our journey has not yet ended.

We are going to lay low for a little while and try to not think about everything. The next post you see from us will be the results of our pregnancy test (I should say tests because we all know I'm going to take a lot of them). We aren't sure if we will reveal the results right away or not. Though we are grateful to share this journey with those we love, we might take a few weeks to soak it all in. I'll leave you with a photo of how I go to sleep every night. My dear friend, Angela, sent me this prayer puppy. It has been prayed over by many people who are believing with us for our miracle babies.